Pyongyang NK-- President Kim Il Jong of North Korea has a secret weapon in his arsenal and plans to use it September 30th (not sure why he picked that day). The 'Dear Leader' has the Gay Nuclear Bomb, and once it explodes, all the straight people in the USA will be totally gay.

The Gay Nuke works very much like a Neutron Bomb. Once it explodes, the Gay Nuke's radiation targets DNA and activates dormant gay genes that exist in everyone. There is no immunity or cure. The Gay Nuke is also very efficient; it only takes one detonation to affect everyone in America.

The Gay Nuke terrifies military planners. It could make a brigade of Marines gayer than a Barbi Doll convention in an instant. They fear soldiers will put on impromptu Broadway musicals like 'Cats' rather than fight.

Many straight men and women are terrified of the Gay Nuke too, and are starting to panic. Husbands are starting to experiment with their wives' makeup, just in case. Many women are jumping into bed with girlfriends, just to get used to the idea of being lesbian.

A bizarre consequence of the Gay Nuke is that it turns gay people straight. Many thousands of gays have enlisted in the military in the last few weeks. Thousands of gays have also offered to die as suicide bombers against the Gay Nuke. No one wants The Unthinkable to happen!

I think the only way we can prevent the wrath of this horrible (yet kind-of cool) bomb, is to utilize the many war bunkers that we built back in the 1950s.  This way, when we get the warning of the bomb, we can all mass together and huddle in these tight bunker quarters.  We would then just wait it "out" in these bunkers.  Eating together, playing together, showering together for months on end.  Come to think of it, maybe that's how the bomb works.

- Another Allen's World Radio Show Blog

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Alameda, California - As Mrs. Helen Crabtree silently takes down some of her first-grader's finger paintings from her classroom wall to make room to pin up a Sesame Street poster of Bert and Ernie whose arms would be benignly around each other's shoulders if not for the caption above their heads that suggests otherwise reads: "We're Here! We're Queer! Now Do You Know All Your ABC's Kids?"

There at the bottom of the same poster the caption continues: "This Message of Tolerance Has Been Brought To You Bi the L word. And the Letter T. Do You Know What T Stands for Boys? And Girls? That's Right. Transgendered."

Pausing a moment as if lost in some deep thought before being able to speak her mind on the controversial matter at hand, Mrs. Crabtree finally spoke.

"I know the school board approved the new same-sex education curriculum for my first-graders," said Mrs. Crabtree with timber in her voice. "But I wonder if we really know what we are doing to our kids."

Mrs. Crabtree identifies herself, as do millions of Americans who consider themselves intelligent, sensitive and tolerant beings, despite having voted for the anti-same-sex marriage intuitive, California's Proportion 8.

"For God sakes," said a somewhat frustrated Mrs. Crabtree. "I have a K.D. Lang CD in my Toyota Hybrid Prius out in the parking lot right now. I even voted for Adam Lambert on 'American Idol' because he's Gay.   God knows it wasn't for his talent. So why aren't I comfortable with this?"

Mrs. Crabtree went on to explain that it seems to her that just last week or so ago her Gay friends considered her a tolerant person, because she was for civil unions for same-sex couples.

"Now my same Gay friends are calling me a bigot because I voted for Prop. 8 to keep traditional marriage defined as that between a man and a woman," said Mrs. Crabtree. "Now this: teaching my first-graders about same-sex marriage? What's going on here? I don't think they're ready. They're only in the first grade for God sakes."

However, being the professional that she is, Mrs. Crabtree kept her personal objections to herself. And played the school board approved instructional aide on same-sex marriage to her first-grader class just the same.

After viewing the Sesame Street TV "special" entitled: "Why Bert and Ernie Came out of the Closet and Got Married", the children were asked (as instructed by the school board) by Mrs. Crabtree, if anyone one them would like to come out of the closet too. By which all the children were instructed in the video to rise up their hands unabashedly, signaling to their teacher that they would.

With all their little hands raised up in the air and their voices all saying, "Oh, me! Me! I do! I do!" Mrs. Crabtree, though visibility shaken, caught by surprise by the overwhelming response, replied nevertheless in a patient and non-judgmental manner as trained.

"Okay, then," said Mrs. Crabtree, nearly in tears. "You all can, because it's okay to be Gay. It's...okay...to be Gay."

With that all the children stood up and ran into the classroom closet where they hung their coats, sweaters and hats. Once all inside they closed the door behind them and from within came a unified and somewhat muffled request, "Can we come out of the closet now?"

With that, Mrs. Crabtree let out an explosive: "Yes! Yes you can children. Yes you can all come out of the closet."

"Yeah," said Mrs. Crabtree's first-graders. "Coming out of the closet was a fun game. Can we play it again, Mrs. Crabtree? Can we? Please."

"No, no more today, okay kids?" said Mrs. Crabtree sighing as she spoke. "Perhaps when you're older, maybe, but no more for today. After all, you're still kids. Back to studying and learning about the wonderful world we live in. Now who can tell me the name of the President of the United States?"

"The program still has some kinks - I mean problems," said the school psychiatrist, speaking on behalf of the school board members. "Children at that age still think in literal terms. So to fine-tune the program, we may have to adjust some minors along the way -- I mean make some minor adjustments along the way. But rest assured, we are not conducting any social experiments on your kids here -- That's what inner-city schools are for. Yup, we're still giving your children our best liberal arts education your tentative tax dollars can buy, and your rigid community standards will allow."

- another Allen's World Radio Show Blog

The California Supreme Court offered a compromise proposal to the same sex marriage ban put in place by voters in November. The proposal suggests that one of the marrying parties first switch genders then, after 6 months of marriage, be switched back again.

"Californians have stated that they do not want people of the same sex marrying", stated California Supreme Court Chief Justice Ronald George. "To stay in compliance with the wishes of the people of California, and the Mormon Church, we insist that at the time of nuptials one party be male and the other female. However, once married for six months or longer, the party who has changed genders may switch back to his or her original gender without a change in marital status".

The Chief Justice clarified that the current law only pertains to people who are getting a marriage license and does not affect those who are already married. In other words,he states "people of the same sex are not allowed to get married but will be allowed to be married."

"I hope this puts the issue to rest", George hoped.

Both opponents and supporters of same sex marriage expressed displeasure with the courts decision.

"I don't want to get my dick cut off just so I can get married!" said Jess Halpern, a Los Angeles area screenwriter.

"This doesn't solve anything!" said Mormom church representative Lucy Pattermore. "The gays are still gonna get married!"

"Compromises always come with sacrifices for both parties", George stated. "If you can't settle this argument on your own then by the omnipotent powers vested in me that's my decision!"

So in  nutshell,  the way it stands now, if the GLBT community wants to get married in California they're gonna have to change their diet.  The guys are going to have to munch on tacos for awhile and the girls will have to get used to downing hot dogs.   There is light at the end of the (gay) rainbow.  After 6 months, you all can go back to your regular diet.  I'm just trying to figure out if the hot dogs will grow back.

- Another Allen's World Radio Show Blog

Yesterday I posted a blog that offended many.

So I was informed that I need to make a public apology.

So here it is:

CLICK HERE TO HEAR

I'm sorry.

(Nashville, Tenn.) A Tennessee lawmaker resigned from the state Senate on Tuesday after his extramarital affair with a 22-year-old intern was revealed by an investigation into an extortion case.  So in other words, another republican, gay-hating clown bites the dust.

“Due to recent events, I have decided to focus my full attention on my family and resign my Senate seat effective August 10,” Republican Sen. Paul Stanley wrote in his resignation letter.

Court records show that Stanley, 47, told agents investigating a blackmail case that he had a sexual relationship with intern McKensie Morrison. Her boyfriend, Joel Watts, is charged with trying to extort $10,000 from Stanley in April. Investigators say Watts demanded the money in exchange for not releasing to the media explicit photos of Morrison that Stanley had taken in what appears to be Stanley’s apartment.

The senator, a married father of two who represents suburban Memphis, had signaled he would remain in the legislature, but he said Tuesday that he decided to step down about an hour before submitting his resignation letter. Stanley, who was elected to the Senate in 2006 after serving six years in the state House, had resigned last week as chairman of the powerful Senate Commerce Committee.

A special election will be held to fill the seat in the Republican-controlled Senate.

Stanley’s legislative proposals were largely focused on pro-business issues, but he also sponsored failed measures to ban gay couples from adopting children. He also spoke out against funding for Planned Parenthood because he said unmarried people should not have sex.

“Whatever I stood for and advocated, I still believe to be true,” he said during an interview Tuesday with Memphis radio station WREC-AM. “And just because I fell far short of what God’s standard was for me and my wife, doesn’t mean that that standard is reduced in the least bit.”

Morrison’s phone numbers are redacted from her legislative internship application, and efforts to reach her were unsuccessful Tuesday. Her father said he didn’t want to talk about the situation.

“It’s a family matter, and I’m going to approach it that way,” Will Morrison said.

According to court records, Morrison is married to a man who is serving a seven-year prison sentence in Florida but that he has filed for divorce.

Watts said in an interview with a Nashville TV station last week that he blamed Stanley for taking advantage of Morrison.

Stanley is the reason gays don't have rights in this country.  Stanley fights to make sure that gays are not equal.  He joins the ranks as another "Official Republican Hypocrite".  Congrats Stan!  You are now truly an asshole!

- Another Allen's World Blog

It's been a rough week.  PNN was suppose to launch the new iPhone app but Apple has not indexed it yet.  Try explaining that to thousands of twinks.  They don't get it and they don't care.  They just want their iPhone app.

I knew it was a big mistake for PNN to announce pre-registration of this app.  What I said would happen. . .did!  The app was not ready and now we have angry twinks on  our hands.  You don't want to piss off twinks.  Not because they're intimidating but because they're annoying.  They whine.  They hiss.  They sound like Paris Hilton on crack.

So now, each day that goes by without the new PNN iPhone app, brings in tons of phone calls, text messages, IMs and emails from annoying twinks.  Asking the same question.  Demanding answers.  Crying, bitching, whining.  It's even gotten to the point where one twink is starting an official boycott until the app is released.  It's like fingernails going across a chalkboard.

I'll get through it.  I'm just laying low for a bit.  Not taking calls, avoiding text messages.  Steve Jobs. . . wherever you are, in this wacky-wide world of ours, can you get your ass back to work to see why it's taking so long to get our app in the system?  Thank You for your support!  For the angry twinks wanting to know the status. . .  you can get the latest status at http://proudcast.com .  

Now leave me be.  I know nothing.  I just work here.

So is the duct tape REALLY working?

You need to hear this:

- Another Allen's World Radio Show Blog

Turns out that it’s an open secret in San Francisco that Chief U.S. District Judge Vaughn Walker – the guy deciding the Prop 8 trial – is gay.

Conservative straights are saying . . . "Well, aint this just a bitch".

I just hope he's not a part of that ridiculous duct tape campaign.

read the whole article about Prop 8 Judge.

The power of the (gweedo) people.