"Can we PLEASE take the tape off our mouths and stop this nonsense?"

I've always made it clear on how I feel about the No H8 ad campaign.  I think we're spending too much time focusing on the photos rather than the cause.  Case in point, go to the official No H8 Facebook page and they're talking about photo shoots and how beautiful everyone looks.  It's so Hollywood!


Then there's Khloe Kardashian.  She just got her NoH8 photo taken.  All she talks about is how happy she is with HOW SHE LOOKS.  All the comments are about HOW SHE LOOKS.  People, we're losing focus!  It's not about how cool we look with duct tape on our mouths.  After the Maine catastrophe, I thought for sure we'd rip the tape off our mouths and start making some noise!  Like I said before, the  Baptists, Catholics and Mormons LOVE the fact that we're putting tape on each other's mouths.

If we're trying to find ways to use duct tape, there's plenty of other things we can do:

         
Duct Tape Makes a GREAT Summer Dress                                      Duct Tape makes great wall art

   
Duct Tape makes a great babysitter!

Please join me in a new ad campaign.  Let's take the tape off our mouths and really start focusing on the cause . . . not the photos.

- Another Allen's World Blog.  To comment, click on title.  Go to Allen's World Site>

I said this all along and no one believed me.  I stuck to my story and told it on the air.  I got death threats from angry twinks.  No one wanted to believe me.  The local community called me nuts.  I was almost committed. 

So now it's time for YOU to decide.  Does Lady Gaga have a taco or a hot dog?  Is she a he or a she or a he-she?  Look closely.  Don't look in her eyes, look lower.  Lower, lower, you're getting closer.   THERE!  Look deep into that manly crotch.  Get a microfine glass and look closer (which I have said many-a-time to some of my past boyfriends).

Come on, look in there deep.  I know it may stink down their (since she just got off stage) STICK YOUR FACE IN IT!  See the bulge (and the battle of the bulge).  See the shapes, silhouettes, shadow puppets if you will.  GAGA IS HUNG!  Not to mention the manly throat, football-player jaw line, butch legs, SIZE 11 SHOES.  At the VERY least. . .  look at the way he's sittlng.  Not very "lady" like.

So now do you believe me?  Who's the crazy one now?  Don't answer that.   I'm now hearing that Lady Gaga's people are saying "she's a hermaphrodite.  For those of you who flunked science, a hermaphrodite is someone who has BOTH private parts.  In other words, she has a hotdog inside her taco.

I still think she's all man.  Guy Gaga still rules the universe and twinks admire her.  That's all that matters.  Now, with all this food talk. . . I'M HUNGRY!  Can't decide between Del Taco and Wienerschnitzel.  Hey, maybe I'll have BOTH!

- Another Allen's World Radio Show Blog

Imagine getting tickets to the hottest local golf circuit event.  You're standing just yards away from hole 18.  Semi-pro golfer, Tammy Cate prepares to putt the ball to win the series.  This is where it gets BEYOND imagination; before she putts the ball, her caddy hands her a dildo.  A dildo?  Yes, a long, 14 inch swingin' dildo.

Most professional athletes have their quirky superstitions but this one seems a bit extreme.  Cate's caddy states that Tammy has carried this dildo "good luck charm" for years and it works!  Circuit organizers have had enough of this ritual and want it to end immediately.  Tournament Director Shelly Tanderly states, "This good luck charm has turned this circuit event into a freak show.  We can no longer tolerate Miss Cate's actions and this must stop now".

The dildo good luck charm ritual came to a breaking point during a local TV station's live telecast.  Cate was at hole 14 ready to putt the ball.  She pulled off a glove, put on some hand powder.  She kneeled down, pulled some grass, and threw it in the air (for wind direction).  All seems innocent and normal.  Tammy then walked over to her caddy's bag.  Unzipped the front pouch and (half-way) pulled out this large glass dildo.  This is where you have to use you imagination again.  Picture a 14 inch dildo hanging out from the front of an unzipped golfing bad pouch.  She caresses it.  She fondles it.  She kneels down and begins to kiss it.  The audience let out a loud gasp (some men began clapping and hootin' like 14-year old boys).

The local TV station had to immediately go to commercial, which incidentally was a TV ad for Ballpark Franks (you know, "they plump when you cook 'em).  TV officials stated they were going to pull the plug for next year's event if Tammy Cate participates.  Needless to say, Miss Cate sunk the ball in hole 14 and went on to win the event.

What is Tammy's side in all this?  She states that she's been taking a lot flack since she exposed her good luck charm a few years ago.  She told reporters that she used to pull the dildo completely out the bag, kiss it (caress, fondle and make love to it), then raise it to the skies.  Officials demanded that she no longer do that.  "That is why I now keep my charm in its pants (the bag)", said Tammy.  "I will not stop using Little Lucky, as I now call it.  I even sleep with it under my pillow every night".

Tournament officials will decide next week what they plan to do with Tammy Cate and how they're going to handle the dildo.  From this reporter's mouth, I don't think ANYONE can handle that dildo like Miss Cate.  She's a true professional.  God Bless America!

- Another Allen's World Radio Show Daily Blog

Remember this hot stud?

This photo shows the reason why Britney had her legs in the air.

HOWEVER!

Something happened through the years. . . .

Too Many Super Sized fries KFed?

Um, I think KFed is pregnant.

It's been a rough week.  PNN was suppose to launch the new iPhone app but Apple has not indexed it yet.  Try explaining that to thousands of twinks.  They don't get it and they don't care.  They just want their iPhone app.

I knew it was a big mistake for PNN to announce pre-registration of this app.  What I said would happen. . .did!  The app was not ready and now we have angry twinks on  our hands.  You don't want to piss off twinks.  Not because they're intimidating but because they're annoying.  They whine.  They hiss.  They sound like Paris Hilton on crack.

So now, each day that goes by without the new PNN iPhone app, brings in tons of phone calls, text messages, IMs and emails from annoying twinks.  Asking the same question.  Demanding answers.  Crying, bitching, whining.  It's even gotten to the point where one twink is starting an official boycott until the app is released.  It's like fingernails going across a chalkboard.

I'll get through it.  I'm just laying low for a bit.  Not taking calls, avoiding text messages.  Steve Jobs. . . wherever you are, in this wacky-wide world of ours, can you get your ass back to work to see why it's taking so long to get our app in the system?  Thank You for your support!  For the angry twinks wanting to know the status. . .  you can get the latest status at http://proudcast.com .  

Now leave me be.  I know nothing.  I just work here.

If you thought Susan Boyle could sing well, you should hear her daughter.  Not only did Susan Boyle do very well on that national talent show, but she did pretty darn good at hiding her daughter from the public.  Susan's daughter, Heywood Yakissmy Boyle, held a press conference today regarding . . . well actually, we don't know what it was regarding because we could not get passed that hidiously horrifying face.

Anyhoo, we later found out that Heywood is coming out with a book  "The Hells of Being A Super Model".  It all about pretty people and how the public treats them like a piece of meat.  From this reporter's perspective, I know what she means.  The meat grinder was not kind to her.    The book also comes with a cassette tape of Heywood  singing all the songs from Saturday Night Fever.  It's not bad but don't play it around dogs.  The howling is piercing!

Susan says she's proud of her daughter and plans to go on tour  with her this fall.  Susan will sing and Heywood will recite parts of her book (and drool).  So get ready (and hide your children), they're coming to a city near you!

- Another Allen's World Radio Show Blog

What is going on? We get a few friends on Facebook and all of a sudden we're rock stars?  What is up with the "Fan Pages"?  I don't want to be your fan and I don't expect you to be mine.  i've noticed the two most used words on Facebook are "ME" and "I".

I think this is going to our heads.  We instantly feel good about ourselves when the friend requests come in.  Each day that we get a friend request, we become a bit more snobby.  Come on people, knock it off with the fan pages.  Bring it down a few notches, we can't all be Perez Hilton (thank God).  Please, just go on with your normal pathetic lives and stop this nonsense with the fan pages.

For those of you that think people care about you, let me bring you down to earth.  Just like MySpace a few years ago, the key to success (with Facebook) is getting as many friends as possible.  It don't matter who they are just as long as your number goes up.  This way, each day you look more popular than the day before.  With that in mind, everyone else is doing the same thing.  They're asking YOU to be THEIR friend so they can look cool and popular.

So now knowing how this works, why would you get such a big head as to start a "Fan Page" for yourself?  Once again, people are your Facebook friend simply for the fact that they want a big friends count.  Some will be your "fan" just to shut you up and to make sure you don't delete them from your list.  They'll click the fan link and then NEVER go to that boring, sad fan page.

I'm sorry if this is brutal and hard to read but it's the truth.  Sometimes the truth hurts.   As a matter of fact, you should bookmark this page.  Bookmark this so, before you waste anymore time uploading that photo or writing about how cool you are, stop.  Stop and leave that stupid-ass fan page of yours and come back to THIS page.  Read it, get a reality slap and move on with your life. 

You can Thank me later!

- another allen's world radio show blog

Is this getting old?  I've talked about this before.  I've given you the proof .  What more do you want?  A closer photo?  OK:

Now leave me alone.

I know that I have brought this up before but what is going on with this ridiculous "No Hate" campaign.  The one where everyone gets dolled up in white and takes a photo with duct tape on their mouths.  Why?  Why are we doing this?  What is the purpose?

Correct me if I'm wrong but shouldn't we be raising money for the cause?  Shouldn't we be doing something more than taking photos of ourselves?   I'm sure there's something more constructive (and productive) we can do for the cause.

I see comments on FaceBook and MySpace from people talking about how they "can't wait for their photo shoot" or "I'm getting ready for my shoot tomorrow", complimenting each other on how cool everyone looks in their NoH8 portraits.   Um, why?  Can we all knock this off and work on something that works.  Is there a way we can pool all that time and energy (that it took to make you look good for the photo) and put it to good use?

I'm sure the Catholics and Mormons love the fact that we're taping each others mouths and staying busy with photo shoots.  At the same time, they're raising millions of dollars to continue their hate campaign. 

- Another Allen's World Radio Show Blog

COMING THIS FALL:

(wow!)

Bill O'Reilly went off the other night about how gay marriage could lead to goat, duck, dolphin and turtle marriage - oh yeah, and polygamy. It's funny, then, that back in 2002, Bill O'Reilly told my friend Michael Giltz in a bombshell interview for the Advocate that he couldn't care less about the issue of gay marriage. At first, O'Reilly told Michael that he was opposed to gay marriage. Then when pushed by the reporter, O'Reilly finally conceded:

"Look, I couldn't care less, to tell you the truth.... You want to get married? Knock yourself out. Go to Vegas. Have a good time. If you can get that changed, I'm not going to jump up and down and say I think it's wrong, because I don't."

This was the same interview in which O'Reilly referred to anti-gay religious right activists as "fanatics" and "holy rollers" who were a bit "ridiculous." O'Reilly went on to express his support for laws protecting gays in the workplace and more. Shortly after that, O'Reilly ripped a religious right representative, on camera.

Well, the religious right went nuts. And suddenly, Bill O'Reilly had an epiphany. Suddenly, after being harshly criticized by the "fanatics" for being too tolerant, Bill O'Reilly became very anti-gay again. Imagine that.

by John Aravosis (DC)

Executives at Mattel Inc. held a press conference Monday to unveil the toy company's latest product, Plain Pamela, a homely doll designed to boost the confidence of girls ages 7 to 12.

The pale, unsightly plaything, which has a plastic torso scaled to the proportions of a 5-foot-4, 179-pound woman in her mid-30s, is being touted as the first toy expressly intended to raise the sense of physical and emotional self-worth in preteen females.

"While we still value our classic Barbie franchise, we understand the need for dolls that offer an alternative body image," Mattel CEO Robert Eckert said. "And that's why we've created Plain Pamela. She's drab, she's dumpy, she's nothing to write home about, and she's going to make the girls of America feel like beauty queens."

Added Eckert, "Relatively speaking."

Mattel, which has been criticized in the past for promoting unrealistic standards of beauty, claimed that the new doll would not only improve the self-esteem of growing girls, but would also give them someone to feel superior to for hours on end.

Modestly priced at $7.99, each Plain Pamela doll comes prepackaged with a variety of unflattering and ill-fitting blouses to drape over her shapeless torso, as well as a packet of paste-on psoriasis spots to apply along her arms and back.

Mattel designers have also included a button at the base of the doll's pudgy neck that randomly plays one of 24 preprogrammed phrases, including "I wish I was pretty like you," "That's okay, you go out and have fun without me," and "Ugh."

Now I have a question.  Why didn't they come out with a "Wimpy William" (instead of GI Joe) when I was growing up?  He would have a small penis, be fat, no chest and when you pull his string . . . he would scream like a nelly bitch.  Now THAT would have made me feel good about myself!

- Another Blog from Allen's World Radio Show.

Tupperware, Incorporated announced today they will begin manufacturing condoms starting this fall.  With the economy taking a nose dive, Tupperware made the decision during the company's annual Goals & Objectives meeting.  Tupperware President said it only make sense to develop products that the consumer wants and needs.

In hopes of boosting and reviving company revenues (and sagging Tupperware home parties), the company is launching a new ad campaign.  Darrel Sokonit, Tupperware Marketing Director said in a press conference, "We are completely changing the way you think about Tupperware parties.  Now you can have fun, meet your neighbors, keep your food fresh and now,  stop spreading sexual diseases.

Tupperware hosts will now be trained how to demonstrate and display the products.  Classes will be provided, showing how to properly apply the neon-colored condoms.  Hosts will use cucumbers, that have been stored in other Tupperware products, so they are fresh (and stiff) making condom installations quick and easy.

Tupperware has a new, patented tab at the end of each colorful condom, allowing users to "burp" them to get all the air out and lock the freshness in.  Yum!

- Another Allen's World Radio Show Blog

New documents found in a Mount Vernon chest prove that George Washington sucked penis. The letters were found in a chest that was tucked away in the attic of George and Martha's Mt. Vernon mansion.

Most of the 180 letters were written to John Crenshaw (photo shown at left), a private in the regiment that General Washington crossed the Delaware with.

In one letter George Washington writes to John, who he addresses as Jboy, and says, "I was so worried about your well-being as we made our way across the river, and that you were warm enough, although as I looked back from the bow of the boat I could see that the freezing air was causing your nipples to harden and this greatly excited me and gave me the courage to fight on and win this battle."

In another letter he writes, "Martha has insisted that I get wooden teeth, but do not despair my Jboy, when I take you in my mouth I will remove them and have my lips communicate my love to you."

Robert Krispin, a prominent George Washington scholar, has authenticated the letters. "This is an amazing find! They are all in his handwriting and as I've always argued, George Washington always looked happiest when he was on a horse. Now I know why."

On his daily talk show Rush Limbaugh said, "This is ridiculous! How could the father of the good ol' USA be a fa**ot. Next thing you'll tell me is that Adam Lambert is a gay Jew!"

- Another Allen's World Radio Show BLOG.

Talk about OUT-rage.

Comedian Sacha Baron Cohen's new movie, "Bruno," a satire of gay and homophobic stereotypes, won't even be released until July 10. But already, everybody has an opinion.

Some critics have decided in advance of its release that it doesn't spoof homosexuals -- it bashes them.

"I don't think he's helping the cause doing that character," comedian Jennifer Elise Cox said in an interview. "It's a mockery." Fashion correspondent and former "Project Runway" contestant Nick Verreos agreed, calling Cohen's character "problematic."

Cox and Verreos's critical statements were two of many made by entertainment insiders -- including Logo Network's president of programming Brian Graden -- that were catalogued by Third Rail Media and released on YouTube. Other actors and comedians nodded along as a reporter suggested that the gay character Bruno was a kind of "blackface." (The video ended with text labeling it "queerface.")

But while some in the LGBT community are fretting that Cohen’s character is a step backward, others wonder if their worries are a case of political correctness run amok.

"Sacha Baron Cohen does a character well, and he pushes the envelope until it falls off the edge," Colombian-born comic Andrew Kennedy tells FOXNews.com. "If as a performer you're 100 percent full of conviction, people give you more leeway. But this political correctness has gotten out of control.

"I was in Florida, getting ready to do a show, and I told my waitress I wanted my coffee black. She said, 'No, no, we say "I'll take it plain" now.' That's ridiculous."

Comics have been feeling that pinch for a while, with the only "ethnic" group safe to poke fun at seeming to be straight, white, 30-something males. Fox's "Family Guy" is an "equal opportunity offender" when it comes to poke-in-the-eye comedy, says executive producer and show runner Mark Hentemann, but even that show recognizes the line in the sand.

"[White males] are the target where no one will ever cry foul if you laugh at them," he says. "It's only when we get into other minority groups that there's a line there."

Still, he says, he understands why: "White males as a group are not marginalized. They're the mainstream, and they haven't been maligned as much as other groups have."

Which may be part of the reason Cohen is getting flak for appearing to pick on a "marginalized" group. Cohen is Jewish, which makes him part of a stereotyped group himself, but by not being gay, he's not part of the LGBT community. (Cohen is engaged to actress Isla Fisher, with whom he has a daughter.)

This is another line in the sand of sorts, according to Jim Colucci, satellite radio show host of "Must Hear TV" and author of "Will & Grace: Fabulously Uncensored."

"I can call my sister a tramp -- but you can't," says Colucci, who is gay, explaining that jokes coming from within a group are often deemed acceptable, while jokes about that group coming from outsiders may not be.

"Intent is key to whether I find something funny or offensive," he continues. "Chris Rock can make jokes about black people and you laugh with that -- the intent is clear, and it's coming from a place of love. This is a tricky line."

So has Cohen crossed the line? Or are his critics in the gay community being oversensitive?

"Whenever they cover the Pride parades, the media puts on the most outrageous pictures -- the feather boa, the guys without shirts," says Bill Gehrman, president of the Independence Business Alliance, greater Philadelphia's LGBT chamber of commerce.

"That's part of our community, but I'd like a little more exposure that shows the true diversity of people who represent the gay community," he adds. "We're not just campy actors and actresses. We're not just a stereotype."

Bear in mind, Colucci says, that Sacha Baron Cohen is the same actor who portrayed "Borat" in 2006 -- so give him a break.

"He's earned enough street cred, as the kids would say, that you know to expect outrages from him no matter who his supposed target, and you can't take anything too seriously," Colucci says.

"We know that everything he does is going to be one degree more gross and more outrageous than most other people. So you have to go into it with an open mind.

"I can't imagine anybody going into the Bruno movie and seriously expecting to see an honest depiction of what a real gay person is like."

I don't even know where to start with this one.  I got an email from some queen (on meth) talking about flys coming out of his baby's butt.  You just have to read it.

"What's the return policy on baby adoptions?  Mine's defective!"

". . . We spent years in the adoption process and finally got a beautiful bouncing (third-world) baby.  We named him "Escalade Francisco Poindexter", but we call him our "little Dicky" for short.


He's the cutest little thing but he has a problem.  For some odd reason, flys are able to fester and prosper in my little Dicky's anus.  In other words,  this kid's got flys living in his ass!  Every morning we have to spread his cheeks to let them out.  The problem is, I now have flys (that smell like shit) roaming my home.  This is not good!  We can no longer have parties here!


I truly want kids but I don't want to deal with this everyday.  I have a life and stanky-ass, dirty flys cannot not be a part of it.  What do I do?  Is it possible to return a baby?  Can I sell him on Craigslist? "

All I can say to this is . . . Wow!

Sammy Sosa's close friend states that he's white because of
skin rejuvination. . .

But how does this so-called "skin rejuvination" change his eye color and straighten out his hair?

Sammy, I think it's tacky, now that Michael is gone, you're trying to act like him.  What's next?  Moonwalking?
Don't piss Joe Jackson off!  He's a money machine and will come after you!

- Another Allen's World Radio Show Blog
Click title to see comments.

Yesterday I posted a blog that offended many.

So I was informed that I need to make a public apology.

So here it is:

CLICK HERE TO HEAR

I'm sorry.

Pyongyang NK-- President Kim Il Jong of North Korea has a secret weapon in his arsenal and plans to use it September 30th (not sure why he picked that day). The 'Dear Leader' has the Gay Nuclear Bomb, and once it explodes, all the straight people in the USA will be totally gay.

The Gay Nuke works very much like a Neutron Bomb. Once it explodes, the Gay Nuke's radiation targets DNA and activates dormant gay genes that exist in everyone. There is no immunity or cure. The Gay Nuke is also very efficient; it only takes one detonation to affect everyone in America.

The Gay Nuke terrifies military planners. It could make a brigade of Marines gayer than a Barbi Doll convention in an instant. They fear soldiers will put on impromptu Broadway musicals like 'Cats' rather than fight.

Many straight men and women are terrified of the Gay Nuke too, and are starting to panic. Husbands are starting to experiment with their wives' makeup, just in case. Many women are jumping into bed with girlfriends, just to get used to the idea of being lesbian.

A bizarre consequence of the Gay Nuke is that it turns gay people straight. Many thousands of gays have enlisted in the military in the last few weeks. Thousands of gays have also offered to die as suicide bombers against the Gay Nuke. No one wants The Unthinkable to happen!

I think the only way we can prevent the wrath of this horrible (yet kind-of cool) bomb, is to utilize the many war bunkers that we built back in the 1950s.  This way, when we get the warning of the bomb, we can all mass together and huddle in these tight bunker quarters.  We would then just wait it "out" in these bunkers.  Eating together, playing together, showering together for months on end.  Come to think of it, maybe that's how the bomb works.

- Another Allen's World Radio Show Blog

(Oklahoma City) A state lawmaker who made national headlines by claiming homosexuality is a greater threat to the United States than terrorism was heckled by protesters as she launched a campaign for a morality proclamation that opponents said promotes an atmosphere of hate.

Rep. Sally Kern said the U.S. is drifting from traditional Christian values as she sought signatures for her petition at a state Capitol rally attended by about 250 people including ministers and their followers, four other state lawmakers, and protesters who shouted “shame on you” and “hypocrite.”

“You are seeing a wonderful demonstration of intolerance,” the conservative Republican from Oklahoma City said of the hecklers.

Among other things, the proclamation says, “This nation has become a world leader in promoting abortion, pornography, same-sex marriage, sex trafficking, divorce, illegitimate births, child abuse and many other forms of debauchery.”

The proclamation declares the federal government “is forsaking the rich Christian heritage upon which this nation was built.”

Last year, gay and lesbian groups demanded Kern apologize after she told a political group that “the homosexual agenda is just destroying this nation” and poses a bigger threat to the United States than terrorism.

I didn't think that anyone could make me sicker than Perez Hilton.  Along comes Sarah Palin.  The voice of the conservative rePUBICans.  As much as I hate this woman, at least she makes me laugh.

I don't know what they're smokin' up there in Alaska to make this bitch Govenor in the first place.  So they deserve what they get.  What they got is a politician who is not only annoying to listen to but only has her self interest at heart.  This  could not more evident than her decision to step down.

So this clowness makes this bubbly speach about how she's basically over the Govenor thing and needs to move on.  She ends it with a "Love Ya" and walks in the Alaska sunset.  The repuplicans are having a great summer.  First there's the Govenor of South Carolina screwing everything in site now there's Palin bored with being Govenor and wants out.

My only thing is this.  These are the voices that preach hate.  These are the voices that don't want gays to get married.  The "Holier than thou" attitude.  The family value morons.  Palin took the trust from the people of Alaska and flushed it down the (snowy, ice-cold) toilet.  I love it!  This makes my day.  She's right on track, movin' forward and  continuing to look like the IDIOT in red.

29 Year Old Man used up all his cellphone minutes on phone sex.  So he calls the only number that's free, 911!

TAMPA, FL -- There are numbers you can call if you're looking for...companionship.  But Tampa Police say Joshua Basso's problem was that he had run out of cell phone minutes.  So he called the only number he knew wouldn't cost him anything, 911. 

Police say Basso, 29, called 911 four times to ask the operator for sex.  He asked the operator about her ass and if she would come over to show it.  Needless to say, he was arrested.

My only comment about this story is. . . This clown can get married and gays can't??

Wow!

-  Another Allen's World Blog.  Click on title link to comment

1 STUCK WITH EACH OTHER (rif and rays extended uk club mix) Shontelle ft Akon

2 WHAT YOU GOT (dance remix) Colby O'donis

3 EVACUATE THE DANCEFLOOR (cahill remix) Cascada

4 GOODBYE (mike rizzo funk generation club mix) Kristinia DeBarge

5 FREEWAY OF LOVE (dj corey d reconstruction mix) Pepper MaShay

6 HUSH HUSH (dave aude i will survive remix) Pussycat Dolls

7 BE ALRIGHT (perry twins private mix) Kristine W

8 BOY SHORST (aaron paetsch remix) Lauren Hildebrandt

9 TONIGHT (original) Jay Sean

10 SUGAR (mondotek club mix) Flo Rida ft Wynter

Guess who had ANOTHER baby?  Yes, the white-trash breeders from Arkansas.  Good 'ol Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar did again and did it good.  Baby number nineteen came into the world only to have to wear hand-me-downs for the next eighteen years (poor thing).  This is just another story where I ask myself . . . "and we can't get married?"

Someone needs to spay and neuter these out-of-control breeders!

I can only hope that the next baby (yes, there will be another one), will turn out to be some kind of science project:

Let us pray.

At a school project expo in Salt Lake City, this brat won a gold medal for his findings:

Yet, in the school cafeteria, they were serving this for lunch:

"mm mm good!"

"They're A Matching Pair!  Makes Great Candle holders!
  Salt & Pepper Shakers?  How Much Can I  Get, Damn It!"

Even Academy Award winners are suffering from financial woes this recession. Actor Nicolas Cage lost two homes in New Orleans worth a total of $6.8 million in a foreclosure auction Thursday.

(Nashville, Tenn.) A Tennessee lawmaker resigned from the state Senate on Tuesday after his extramarital affair with a 22-year-old intern was revealed by an investigation into an extortion case.  So in other words, another republican, gay-hating clown bites the dust.

“Due to recent events, I have decided to focus my full attention on my family and resign my Senate seat effective August 10,” Republican Sen. Paul Stanley wrote in his resignation letter.

Court records show that Stanley, 47, told agents investigating a blackmail case that he had a sexual relationship with intern McKensie Morrison. Her boyfriend, Joel Watts, is charged with trying to extort $10,000 from Stanley in April. Investigators say Watts demanded the money in exchange for not releasing to the media explicit photos of Morrison that Stanley had taken in what appears to be Stanley’s apartment.

The senator, a married father of two who represents suburban Memphis, had signaled he would remain in the legislature, but he said Tuesday that he decided to step down about an hour before submitting his resignation letter. Stanley, who was elected to the Senate in 2006 after serving six years in the state House, had resigned last week as chairman of the powerful Senate Commerce Committee.

A special election will be held to fill the seat in the Republican-controlled Senate.

Stanley’s legislative proposals were largely focused on pro-business issues, but he also sponsored failed measures to ban gay couples from adopting children. He also spoke out against funding for Planned Parenthood because he said unmarried people should not have sex.

“Whatever I stood for and advocated, I still believe to be true,” he said during an interview Tuesday with Memphis radio station WREC-AM. “And just because I fell far short of what God’s standard was for me and my wife, doesn’t mean that that standard is reduced in the least bit.”

Morrison’s phone numbers are redacted from her legislative internship application, and efforts to reach her were unsuccessful Tuesday. Her father said he didn’t want to talk about the situation.

“It’s a family matter, and I’m going to approach it that way,” Will Morrison said.

According to court records, Morrison is married to a man who is serving a seven-year prison sentence in Florida but that he has filed for divorce.

Watts said in an interview with a Nashville TV station last week that he blamed Stanley for taking advantage of Morrison.

Stanley is the reason gays don't have rights in this country.  Stanley fights to make sure that gays are not equal.  He joins the ranks as another "Official Republican Hypocrite".  Congrats Stan!  You are now truly an asshole!

- Another Allen's World Blog

The California Supreme Court offered a compromise proposal to the same sex marriage ban put in place by voters in November. The proposal suggests that one of the marrying parties first switch genders then, after 6 months of marriage, be switched back again.

"Californians have stated that they do not want people of the same sex marrying", stated California Supreme Court Chief Justice Ronald George. "To stay in compliance with the wishes of the people of California, and the Mormon Church, we insist that at the time of nuptials one party be male and the other female. However, once married for six months or longer, the party who has changed genders may switch back to his or her original gender without a change in marital status".

The Chief Justice clarified that the current law only pertains to people who are getting a marriage license and does not affect those who are already married. In other words,he states "people of the same sex are not allowed to get married but will be allowed to be married."

"I hope this puts the issue to rest", George hoped.

Both opponents and supporters of same sex marriage expressed displeasure with the courts decision.

"I don't want to get my dick cut off just so I can get married!" said Jess Halpern, a Los Angeles area screenwriter.

"This doesn't solve anything!" said Mormom church representative Lucy Pattermore. "The gays are still gonna get married!"

"Compromises always come with sacrifices for both parties", George stated. "If you can't settle this argument on your own then by the omnipotent powers vested in me that's my decision!"

So in  nutshell,  the way it stands now, if the GLBT community wants to get married in California they're gonna have to change their diet.  The guys are going to have to munch on tacos for awhile and the girls will have to get used to downing hot dogs.   There is light at the end of the (gay) rainbow.  After 6 months, you all can go back to your regular diet.  I'm just trying to figure out if the hot dogs will grow back.

- Another Allen's World Radio Show Blog

An aviary scandal has hit the usually quite laid-back San Francisco Zoo.

Zoo Director Bodega Garcia-Sinclair said that a gay penguin couple Harry and Pepper have been a same-sex couple for six years. The two gay birds made world-wide news when a few years ago they legally adopted a baby penguin, which they named Skippy.

Up until recently Harry and Pepper had been very happy in their 'marriage' which under California law is, sad to say, not really recognized as a marriage, but instead, it is looked upon more as a type of 'shacking up' if you will.

The trouble started last week, when a female penguin named Linda caught the penguin eye of Harry. Linda would go up to Harry as he was relaxing on a slab of ice and she would erotically wiggle her penguin fins in front of Harry.

At first Harry would just ignore her and look the other way, but last week when Linda actually sat down on Harry's lap something happened.

Yes, Linda the penguin had succeeded in giving Harry the penguin an erection, known in the scientific bird world as a penguinistic peterola erectionitus.

Immediately Linda started clapping her fins together as if to say, "Yes, I still got it!" Harry, on the other (fin) did not say a word, but the penguin slobber that was emanating from his feathery mouth spoke volumes.

San Francisco Zoo psychiatrist Dr. Gene Playfair, who himself is gay, was immediately called and told to bring a camera.

When Dr. Playfair arrived at the penguin house, he instantly noticed that Pepper was not a happy penguin at all. He was pacing up and down the length of the entire penguin sanctuary.

Meanwhile he noticed that at the far end of the frozen penguin shelter he could see Linda happily sitting on Harry's 'lap' and the the two 'lovebirds' were holding (fins).

In an effort to console the heartbroken Pepper, Dr. Playfair instructed one of the zoo workers Lorenzo Montecafe, an illegal alien from Baja California, to get another male penguin for Pepper.

Montecafe told the doctor that he did not feel right trying to force a guy penguin to get together with another guy penguin.

Dr. Playfair got Montecafe off to the side and he reached in his shirt pocket and he showed him a photograph of the Tijuana Bridge (looking south). Montecafe quickly ran off and picked out a boy penguin that looked kind of on the effeminate side.

When the sissy-looking penguin named Tuxy was put in a prefabricated corral-like enclosure with Pepper, Pepper immediately picked up a snowball and hit Tuxy in the crotch with it.

Tuxy got pissed off and he picked up an ice cube tray and he threw it at Pepper. Luckily the ice tray missed hitting an ice cream machine. Dr. Playfair instructed Montecafe to take Tuxy out of the enclosure.

So now, in desperation, the San Francisco Zoo has put out a call to Fairbanks, Alaska, which is home to the world's leading penguin whisperer, Bradston P. LaForest.

Zoo Director Bodega Garcia-Sinclair has said that the zoo will be flying LaForest out to San Francisco in hopes that he can help Pepper get over the fact that Linda the penguin, who many zoo workers are referring to as that slutty ice-home wrecking penguin piece-of-ass, has broken up Pepper and Harry's happy penguin home.

In a related story. There is no truth to the rumor that Linda the penguin has a tattoo on her penguin rump that reads, "Born To Raise Hell At Least 'Til Hell Freezes Over."

- another Allen's World Radio Show Blog